The Wind In The Willows ... according and gaining respect ...

This morning commenced with a most perceptive and insightful devotion by the representative from class 4-9 during flag-raising. He delivered a short but incisive devotion on the theme of 'respect'. I am in total agreement with what he said. In a nutshell, he expounded that respect is to be gained, that respect is a 2-way mutual process, that if you treat someone else with respect, the other person will accord you that same respect. Indeed, how frequent do we find ourselves overly high and mighty, overly confident, that we forget to be humble and sincere when we treat the people around us, whether be it our peers, our subordinates, or our students/children.

With regards to our peers and subordinates, mutual respect is of utmost importance, for that is the basis for a meaningful relationship. Furthermore, everyone would have some point of value or sincerity to contribute, and to simply brush another's opinion aside reeks of condescension and myopic thinking. It will in effect stifle discussion and exchanges that are necessary for better progress. Afterall, no one has the monopoly of wisdom and thought. For progress and development that is meaningful and beneficial, both sides must accord respect to each other.

Then, as for our students/children, we always remind ourselves to know how to strike a balance. For me personally, I set high expectations for my students with regards to values, morals, behaviour and attitude. Yet, it does not simply imply an unthinking and clumsy hollering at my students who err. Of course, when I used to have lower secondary music students, I would be the draconian disciplinarian. I am sure they all remember those afternoons when entire lines of sec 1 students would have to face the pillars and walls, or to sing to the flower pots, so as to instill a sense of propriety and self-discipline in them. But generally, I prefer to treat my upper secondary students as responsible thinking young adults, which they afterall are. I have found over the years that our students will be what we treat them to be. If we treat our upper secondary students as dignified individuals, they will respond accordingly as such. If we treat them as intelligent capable leaders, they will also strive to be such. But if we treat them as potential antagonists and problems, they will also self-deteriorate accordingly. This is frankly natural social behaviour and personal psychology.

I have always found it more effective, fulfilling and enjoyable treating my upper secondary students as dignified responsible young adults, and to hold intellectual discourse with them. And our students are intelligent and great individuals. They have always been respectful to us, friendly, and highly engaging. Of course, for the few recalcitrant ones, or for those who really need a good shelling that is necessary for their own life betterment, I would not hesitate to do so too. Afterall, that is what education is about - to mould our wards into dignified and highly capable young men with a true self-respect and confidence, tempered with the necessary humilty.

I do wish to see more of this sense of dignity and mutual respect in our nation today. The day our nation and those who are in position to manage and influence stop according respect to each other and to others, it will be the tearing-up of our social compact and our social fabric.